Saturday, February 2, 2013

Don't Go Swimming With the Toten Corps

Listen, who am I to tell you what to do. I'm just a simple schlub with a magical penis and great hair, but I do have one word of advice for you. Don't go swimming with the Toten Corps. 

As it turns out, dead Nazis are much better swimmers than you would expect. Probably part of the same program that yielded so many manly woman Olympic swimmers. And they got plenty of practice with the being dead part, too. Ken Wiederhorn's 1977 dead Nazi classic Shock Waves is exhibit A as to why you should never go swimming with dead Nazis less than hour after eating. But there is further proof.

Even in a state of less than aliveness Nazis are pretty good at chasing tail, even underwater, as this scene from Zombie Lake demonstrates. My advice is don't swim with them. Because they're fucking dead. And they're Nazis. 

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