Monday, February 4, 2013

Richard III Deserves the Ray Lewis Treatment

After 500 years the bones of one of history's greatest villains, Richard III have been unearthed under a parking lot, and I've seen many people commenting that this should be the impetus to give Richard III a chance to rescue his reputation from the rogues gallery of history. There must be some sort of statute of limitations on murdering pretty much you ever met, right? 

Well, if recent history can be used as a barometer of the public's willingness to forgive scumbags, I'd say Richard III has a pretty good shot of being nominated as a saint by week's end. Let's just take a random example. I'll pick someone out of nowhere, like...

We know Ray Lewis is a Patriot.

And we know he's a devout man. What's a little bit of mayhem along the way? I say the same thing about Richard III. Murder a few nephews here and there and history gives you the brush off. I say Richard III was framed. Well, I don't say he was framed, I'm just saying if ten years is sufficient for a lot of people to forget Ray Lewis is basically human sewage, then 500 years should do similar wonders for one of history's biggest asswipes. Here's a picture of Richard III saying something about a horse...

My kingdom for a chiropractor. Thank you, I'll be here all week. 

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