Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Pussy Riot Victimized Not By Russian Oppression, But By Bi-Annual Laws That Prohibit American Trendsters From Caring About More Than Two Issues Simultaneously


Russian punkers Pussy Riot saw the writing on the wall this week when American trendsters hopped aboard the gay marriage bandwagon. 

Knowing Facebook and Twitter laws prohibit Americans from caring about more than two bandwagon celebrity causes per year, the rockers grimly resigned themselves to a several more years of bad food and prison rape.

"I guess we sort of had it coming," Pussy Riot singer Katya Samutsevich said. "For what we did to SOPA. We knew the Americans weren't capable of supporting two celebrity causes simultaneously, so it was either gay marriage or freedom of speech." 













Maybe later in the year, ladies. I'd probably work on those pics, though, if you want to be taken seriously.


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