Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Cloudy Syphilitic Piss Mistaken For Award Winning Beer At Prestigious Festival

Cloudy Syphilitic Piss was mistaken for an award-winning craft beer at last Friday's "Greater Scranton Amateur Beer Awards," but before the hoaxster was revealed, several hundred people had already agreed the heady brew was the belle of the beer bash. Hoaxster Tristan Fellows claims his now world famous beer was discovered quite accidentally. "I got syphilis from this batshit nuts chick at the gym," Fellows confessed, "and one night I was too lazy to get up from my Call of Duty game, so I just whipped it out and pissed in this Scooby Doo collector's glass my roommate had gotten with his Happy Meal at Wendy's. A few minutes later he came out of his bedroom and drank it by accident. He thought it was so good I didn't have the heart to tell him it was my urine." 

But beer experts at the festival didn't seem to care they were drinking piss. "It's slightly fishy, but lively, and 
has a faint undertone that reminds me of my wife's pussy," said one expert taster (standing next to a woman who looked like a batshit nuts gym rat). By the end of the night all formality had been abandoned, and hipsters and Yuppies alike were paying Fellows upwards of twenty dollars to piss in their mouths.

The pretentious jerkoffs need more beer. 

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