Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Wikipedia Editor Who Believed He Had Finally Lost Virginity Discovers He Was Only Fucking Taint

Sheldon Fishgreip, who has edited over six thousand Wikipedia articles, and is a renowned watchdog for internet accuracy, was forced to retract his triumphant Twitter announcement that he had finally "Had sex with another homosapien" Friday, when he was subsequently informed by the prostitute that he was in her taint the entire time. 

It was a crushing blow for Fishgreip, who, in all honesty, has no chance of ever having sex with a real woman ever again, or scraping the twenty dollars together to hire another prostitute, not even in Pittsburgh. There is a positive to this story, though, according to Fishgreip. He said his failure to have sex with a living woman has only intensified his feelings of inadequacy and motivated him to be an even more intensely passively aggressive asswipe towards other people in this Universe who actually do stuff and make things. Good luck big Sheldon, I'm sure all your fellow Wikipedia editors are pulling for you. Right now. 

No comments:

Post a Comment